We need to talk to you, Simpson.”A middle-aged man stepped from the front door of the farmhouse. He had that dusty dry look that all farmers had. His skin looked like dry leather. His eyes had a permanent squint from years of staring into the sun while behind a plow. His clothes, while clean, were faded and patched to the point that their original color or even material was unknown.He carried an old but clean and well-oiled shotgun that was pointed over the newcomer’s heads. “What do you want? I told you the last time, I’m not selling, and I won’t be run off. This is my land, and I aim to keep it.”“Now Simpson, there ain’t no need to get rambunctious. No need for guns. We’re just checking to see if you are willing to accept the Colonel’s offer. It’s a fair offer. I mean after all, this hardscrabble scratch homestead, isn’t worth a third what the man offered you.”“I don’t care. This is my land, and I aim to keep it, period.”“Well, that’s ok too, Simpson. But the thing is being out. Their smiles fell when he asked them if they knew what a 'Buddy' was. In a little bit of fear, they started to turn their heads back to him and got an instant 'Thwap' on their butts from his riding crop. They each yelped at the impact. It was more from the swiftness of the correction than any pain, but it scared the Bejezzers out of them, and of course, the rest of us.Then he went on to tell us that you don't volunteer for anything. "These two didn't know what a Buddy is and they quickly volunteered to be my 'Buddy.'"A friend is someone who goes to town on a Overnight Pass and gets two blow jobs."Continuing, the Sarge told us, "A Buddy is someone who brings one of those Blow Jobs back for you!"Two more quick swats on their butts and then in the deep growl we began to love and hate, at perhaps an unreachable intensity of 120 decibels, told his two new 'Buddies' to "Get the FUCK back in line!"So let me change what I said to you about not being a Buddy, 'YET!' Hey, we ain't FRIENDS yet..
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